'you are best friends, after all'

subtitle you summed it up perfectly, sorry(notsorry) it's years long, of course it's you,
 two am at the kitchen table - so many notecards i remember because i read them in your voice - you once told me there was a really great pizza place in new york but never told me what it was - you ate my whole bagel sandwich in two bites - you always wore a hat after soccer games - and summer before sophomore year at a party at the top of cedar hills that turned into that party at the top of cedar hills - i finally know the dogs' names (took me forever) - i remember henry wadsworth longfellow and none of his poetry - you wore a green button up pinstriped shirt in eighth grade that's a weird thing to remember - going to mcdonalds for breakfast and i think it must've been after we went to attendance school, but mostly i just remember you were in my passenger seat - at first i could only find your house because of the rose bushes on the corner - soccer and football with my little brother who loves you so much - the snaps of you singing apologize you probably don't know your friend sent, and you say i've never heard you sing and if we were texting i'd add a wink there - walking to orange leaf in ninth grade - your phone call after registration. "i think we made a mistake -- we didn't plan our schedules together." i was in the hall behind the auditorium and my heart constricted a little and i shut my eyes and stopped walking, and it took you a term but you fixed our mistake (thank you.) - recycling at mountain ridge - and me and my "chastity cocoon" (yeah no.) - pirates of the carribean 4 and you sat in front of me and not next to me and i was less than thrilled. you asked and i gave that movie an 8/10 which was just not true, it was awful - the dream team (sorry i quit) - i don't remember our first facetime but i'm going to miss that for two years, and you - when harvard law was your background - your beat up blue sperry's next to my front door - and mandy moore lol - i remember your tears but i wouldn't be surprised if you denied them, "if we hadn't watched that stupid play" oh please - ken burns movies about electricity and the radio - you drew on my blue binder in mrs. rowe's seventh grade science class. you wrote your name in black pen that i never tried very hard to scrub off and everything is a metaphor - and that pen was probably mine because in all this time you've never kept track of a pencil. and you used to return mine all chewed on the ends but it became endearing by tenth grade - bowling, and i'm still just as bad at it by the way, but thanks for the lessons - how many mullets? - birrell and woolsey incessant in their questions for three whole years and the first time we were in the same room for it. and one of the later times sydney "the look on syd's face was priceless" and chambers "so was the look on his" - i remember your first kiss even though i didn't hear it from you, i'm not sure we were really friends then so - midnight pasta and how you always eat bread with pasta even though we only had the end of a wheat loaf - stepping on your foot (still embarrassed about that) - i have pandora stations that appeared on my account because i logged in with you - and finally speaking out loud "it fits. it took us til we were grown-a adults." which was some combination of so funny and perfect and maybe sad? - she was asleep on the couch at 3:30 am, and the trampoline a few hours earlier. - so many other 3:30 ams, arm over me with eyes closed shut, mind probably in that place mine sometimes goes where unspoken lines aren't lines anymore - i haven't closed your grooveshark and it's been searching for "pink houses" since may - like i looked for a way out until i realized that wasn't a solution, something i think you've known longer, but hey, you've always had math and i've only had words for paper that never come out quite right in the car - and i've loved all the years and feeling safe with you,